CHIN WHISKERS ON WOMEN
avatar

Lady Lou's CHIN WHISKERS!

WHISKERS

This is a recording of a podcast I did recently. Enjoy reading it below, or you may click one of these links and listen to it.

**********************************************************************

Hello from Lady Lou! Welcome to another episode of THE BABY BOOMER BABE Show, coming to you from deep in the heart of Texas.

I have titled this podcast 'WHISKERS.'

Woke up at 5:30 this morning! DANG! Don’t know why I do this as I am NOT a morning person. Went to bed last night after midnight, so five hours was definitely not enough sleep for me – seven hours is my normal.

After lying there for thirty minutes, hoping to go back to sleep, I decided to get up and check the weather on TV. A cold front came in yesterday and the temperature was supposed to dip down into the upper thirties in Houston. That meant the mid-thirties or lower here in my area, North of Houston.

The reason I wanted to know how cold it had gotten overnight is because I had made the decision NOT to cover my plants outside. They were on their own.

TENT CITY

Two weeks ago we had 3 nights below freezing, and my yard looked like ‘TENT CITY!’ 

Used every sheet I had in my linen closet, and a bunch of old towels to cover every plant I had slaved over all last summer. Didn’t want to lose them, or my investment in time and money. You probably know what I’m talking about if you are into growing stuff.

That time, the flowers and plants all survived, except my winter garden, even though I covered it. The tomatoes, cucumbers and pumpkin plants expired! Oh, well... Can’t win ‘em all.

WHISKERS

So, there I was, at six AM watching the local news to catch the weather. As I was sitting there in the semi-dark, I ran my fingers over my face. YIKES! My chinny-chin-chin was a mass of little bristly hairs! Oh, how I hate whiskers on my chin! YOU, too, I’ll bet!

I have often wondered WHY we women are cursed with bristly whiskers on our chins as we age. So, later that morning I Googled it, and here’s what I found – You’re gonna love it!

WHAT GOOGLE SAID

According to the research done by beauty director, Valerie Monroe, of O, The Oprah Magazine, is that it is HORMONAL. Yea, well, that’s nothing new.

A medical doctor Ms. Monroe spoke with, said PLUCKING and SHAVING have challenges, and so does LASER removal, which is expensive. AND ELECTROLYSIS is supposedly “only good for stray hairs.” 

WHAT? This doctor does say a certain prescription cream is good, but it must be applied twice a day for three months, then less often. Guess that’s not too surprising, as doctors make money every time we go to their office, and BIG PHARMA makes money when we purchase the CREAM - FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!

I particularly loved that the doctor said the only reason older women SEE the hair on their face and chin, is because as their eyes dim with age they start using MAGNIFYING MIRRORS to apply make-up. OH, YES! I know I do!

GOOD GRIEF! That is only partly correct, because WE ALSO FEEL THE DARNED WHISKERS long before we can SEE THEM! OH, GEEEE! What rock has that doctor been hiding under?

The doctor went on to say people have to be REALLY CLOSE to your face to SEE the WHISKERS. NOT IF THOSE BUGGERS ARE WHITE AND A HALF INCH LONG, as some of mine have been!

She suggests standing at “arm's length in front of a REGULAR mirror” to apply your make-up so you don’t SEE them! HA! What a crock! It’s very obvious to me she’s YOUNG and still doesn’t have DIMMING eyesight and hair growing on HER CHIN! Just you wait, honey! YOUR time is coming.

As an experiment, I tried putting on make-up standing about TWO FEET away from a REGULAR mirror. Guess what? I knew it was ME in the mirror, but there was no way in H – E – DOUBLE - L I could apply mascara and eyeliner to my eyes. Sure, I could put on moisturizer and foundation. But the foundation was streaky when I checked it up close! So much for that! N-E-X-T!

SAND PAPER

Here’s a FUNNY! This other website I checked about chin whiskers suggested using, of all things, SANDPAPER, to remove the whiskers! Are you ready for THAT! M-E-E-E NEITHER!

The article said to get the FINEST textured sandpaper you can find. Grade 1000 is supposedly the finest if you decide to go to the hardware store to buy some. If I were you, I would NOT tell the salesclerk what you’re going to use it for! HA! He or she may think you have gone ‘round the bend!

Seems you are to wrap a small section of the sandpaper around your forefinger and tape it on, or, just hold a small piece of the sandpaper on your skin. Then gently rub your chin in a circular motion, being careful not to SCRUB away your skin!

After you’ve rubbed off the hair, you are supposed to use a moisturizing type of skin toner, not an astringent, as that will sting. The toner is to keep any contamination from oozing into your skin. Then, you use a thick moisturizer to put moisture back into your skin and keep down any scaly stuff from showing up on your chin. Oh, my goodness…

You’re only supposed to use sandpaper once a month to keep your skin from being damaged. Can’t you just see it now – this great big scab on your chin where you’ve scrubbed off the skin?

I really, really, DO NOT recommend this one.

You can also use a baby emery board to rub off those pesky whiskers, if you have one! GOSH!

There are all kinds of PRODUCTS the manufacturers have come up with to get rid of FACIAL HAIR. They are all great ways to PART you from your MONEY. CREAMS, LOTIONS, and POTIONS. They are CHEMICALS for the most part, and I, for one, am NOT going to put chemicals on my face that are strong enough to disintegrate facial hair.

A few of these items have shown up on those AS SEEN ON TV commercials.

There are even all kinds of crazy gadgets out there for hair removal. Save your money, ladies, and get the best pair of tweezers you can buy, and then PLUCK away. It’s EASY, and CHEAP! Yes, you will be tweezing the same hairs over and over, but I’ve noticed, you will eventually pluck the whole hair, root and all. But, then, another one appears!

TWEEZERS

I‘ve had this ONE PAIR of tweezers for over THIRTY YEARS. It’s a little scissor type tweezers with a slanted edge.

NO ONE is allowed to use these tweezers but ME! I guard them with my life! They have to last for at least another TWENTY YEARS. Maybe by the time I’m 90 people will overlook a few stray white hairs on my chinny-chin-chin. HOPEFULLY they will even take pity on me and tweeze them for me. Wouldn’t that be nice?

WOW! What fun Google is! I love going over there. I spent longer over there doing the research than I did preparing this podcast. But, as they say, “Knowledge is Power!”

I’ll close now as I have to go get my TWEEZERS and start tweezing those silly whiskers. Do YOU need to do the same? Check out YOUR chin, but, I imagine you’ve already done that, haven’t you? HA! Did ya find any? Oh, darn; better get those tweezers out and get busy. We ladies want to stay beau - ti - ful,  not HAIRY!

This is Lady Lou, The Baby Boomer Babe, saying good-bye for now. Please share this podcast with your Boomer friends.

See you soon.

Please let me hear from you in the COMMENTS section below. Thanks.

Lady Lou, The Baby Boomer Babe

Lady Lou
The Baby Boomer Babe

CHIN WHISKERS ON WOMEN

Comments are closed.